Should You Stay Together “for the Kids”?

I’d be willing to bet there are a lot of people out there that are staying in unhappy marriages “for the kids.”

You hate the current state of affairs, but for one reason or another, you are afraid to do anything about it.

You and your spouse fight all the time (sometimes in front of the kids) and you think that you are showing them what a healthy relationship is all about (because you are sticking together through it all).

You are afraid what your family, friends, co-workers, kids, anyone who knows you will think if you make a CHOICE to end your heartache and get a divorce.

I want to let you in on a little secret.

You DO have a choice in the matter. You can stay or you can go.

Life will go on. The world will keep turning. The sun will rise again tomorrow.

It might be hard. It might actually be excruciating. But according to author Steven Kane in his book F*** It, Get a Divorce:

“You’re human. An emotional being. That’s what being human is. Turning off emotions is to be less human. Is that what you want? We all know people who’ve done that. Do you really want to be more like them?”

Here’s what I think. You need to cut out the bullshit right now.

Take responsibility for yourself and your actions. If you are in an unhappy relationship, acknowledge that you have a choice.

On the one hand, you can stay, do nothing to make things better, and be miserable.

Or you can stay and work on things (for the sake of the kids), hoping that one day it will get better. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t.

Or you can go.

Those are your choices. That’s where you are at.

Life is a series of choices. Some are easy and some are hard. Choosing to get a divorce isn’t one of the easy ones. But once you have made that choice, it doesn’t have to be hard either.

Nobody said you have to hate your ex-spouse. If you are reading this you probably have kids together. This person will be in your life for a very long time – whether you are married or not.

You can co-exist and co-parent – for the sake of the kids. But you don’t have to stay in an unhappy marriage.

A while back I was reading a book or listening to a podcast that talked about the healthiest environments for kids to be raised in. And the author said that it is actually healthier for children to be raised in a single parent home (or in two single-parent homes) than in a home with parents that fight all the time.

Let that sink in for a moment.

If you and your spouse are in an unhappy marriage but are staying together for the kids, it would actually be healthier for the kids for you to split up than for you to stay together.

I realize this isn’t an easy choice. Nobody said marriage is easy and choosing to end it is even harder.

But you have to be honest with yourself. When you know, you know.

And when you are ready to give us a call, we can help you end it amicably.

Life is too short to stay in an unhappy relationship. Sometimes you need to know when to say when.

Stop the bullshit. Be honest with yourself. Make a choice.