This morning I found a list of 12 signs on MSN that indicate you might be headed for divorce…
- One spouse has acknowledged the problems in the marriage, and the other isn’t doing anything to help fix those problems;
- You aren’t spending any time with your spouse, and are actually happier when you are not with them;
- One spouse brings up an issue, says that it needs to be resolved or the marriage is in jeopardy, and the spouse does nothing about it;
- A year has gone by without either you or your spouse doing anything to try and fix the problems in the marriage;
- There is no mutual respect in the marriage, and you are unable to communicate civilly with your spouse – one spouse is always attacking or defending;
- You are no longer working together as a team – both you and your spouse are making decisions about your life, career, etc. without discussing them with each other;
- There has been an affair, and the guilty spouse, although they have ended the affair, remains friendly with their ex-lover;
- Neither you or your spouse are willing to compromise anymore;
- One spouse is a “serial cheater” – does this really need more commentary?
- The cheating spouse blames the innocent spouse for the adultery;
- You want kids and your spouse doesn’t – or vice-versa;
- Lack of intimate communication other than things like – nice day today, isn’t it?
I think this list is a good starting point to determine whether you are happy in your marriage or not. Some of the items, such as number 9 – are pretty much deal-breakers in my book. But a lot of the other signs deal with lack of communication, respect, and intimacy. One sign that was not listed is sex – how long has it been since you have been intimate with your spouse? If it has been a long time, or if you are no longer physically attracted to your spouse, that is another indication of potential problems.