The Holidays are hard enough for those of us that aren’t divorced. Figuring out which relatives you are going to see when, packing the car, getting the dogs to the kennel, coordinating the cat sitter, driving across the country to visit family…. and the list goes on and on. And I’m not divorced. It’s enough to give you a headache.
I can only imagine the stress and frustration that must befall one of my clients that has to do all this, and then execute an agreed-upon visitation schedule so that they can see their children in addition. What if the relatives they want to see are out of town, but their visitation schedule is set so that they must stay in town until after the holiday? Or vice versa?
The thought of not spending my entire holiday with my son is unbearable – but this is exactly what some of my client’s do every single year. Being a Mom or Dad is hard enough, even if you aren’t divorced. Most of the stress and the problems come from the fact that either or both parents are unable or unwilling to communicate with one another. Lack of communication between two separated spouses is a major problem, and the unintended victims are the children.
Divorce doesn’t have to be this way – in a Collaborative Case with Children, my law firm immediately refers our clients to a licensed psychiatrist/psychologist who can assist in developing a workable strategy for seeing the kids during the holidays. As an attorney, I’m really in no position to make decisions about what visitation schedule is in the best interests of the children – that job is best left to a professional who is trained to handle these issues – a child psychiatrist.
A child development specialist can help you and your spouse to learn how to communicate so that when the holidays come around, even if you can’t spend the entire time with your kids and your ex-spouse, you can certainly minimize or eliminate the level of animosity and hostility between everyone involved.
If you would like a recommendation to one of the therapists we work with, please call our offices at (919) 460-5422.