A Mom in Durham, NC recently lost custody of her children because she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  In an extremely sad case, and yet another shining example of why collaborative law is such a promising tool for resolving family law conflicts, Alaina Giordano has lost custody of her two children because of a terminal…

I rarely use my blog forum to gloat about the outcome of a divorce case, but today I just have to. Here is a quick summary of how I met this client and the information they gave me when they initially came to see me last year: Client came to see me – we conducted…

One of the things that we as lawyers often forget is that we can be intimidating.  One of the first things I tell clients who come to visit with me for the first time is that they have nothing to be afraid of.  I pride myself in not trying to pull one over on a…

Evidently, the key to a happy marriage is to be a bit selfish.  So says a recent article in the New York Times entitled “The Happy Marriage is the ‘Me’ Marriage.”  According to the author, couples in lasting marriages are effective at communicating what they want to their spouse and by doing so are able…

It’s no secret that one of the biggest things that couples fight about is money.  And in these tough economic times, it doesn’t take a whole lot to push a couple over the edge… from a financial standpoint.  In certain situations, bankruptcy may be a viable option for you.  If you are considering filing for…

For those of you who are still all “doom and gloom” on collaborative divorce, here is yet another article talking about the benefits of the process.  If you are thinking about a divorce or separation, you should start considering a collaborative divorce, especially if you have children…

This morning I found a list of 12 signs on MSN that indicate you might be headed for divorce… One spouse has acknowledged the problems in the marriage, and the other isn’t doing anything to help fix those problems; You aren’t spending any time with your spouse, and are actually happier when you are not…

QDRO’s are a source of lots of confusion for clients (as well as many attorneys).  Here are some answers to questions I get on a pretty regular basis: What is a QDRO? A QDRO is short for “Qualified Domestic Relations Order”.  It is a court order that is usually signed by both parties (making it…

The Holidays are hard enough for those of us that aren’t divorced.  Figuring out which relatives you are going to see when, packing the car, getting the dogs to the kennel, coordinating the cat sitter, driving across the country to visit family…. and the list goes on and on.  And I’m not divorced.  It’s enough…

This is an all-to-common question, and although I have answered it several times in my “Ask a Lawyer” section, I thought I would answer it again here. The answer to this question depends, unfortunately, on the financial circumstances of the person asking it.  If you have a good job, the money issue may not be…

I guess these things aren’t quite official until there is a press release about it.  Just announced – myself and four other Raleigh Divorce Lawyers have joined Separating Together, a Collaborative Family Law Practice Group in Raleigh, North Carolina. All of us have pledged to restrict our law practices to resolving family law matters without…

North Carolina has some wacky laws when it comes to divorce.  They are not always intuitive, and sometimes they are downright unfair.  One such example is a rule called the “McClean Presumption“.  This rule deals with Equitable distribution in North Carolina, and the treatment of marital and separate real property (also known as land) and…

One question I get all the time is what should I do if my spouse won’t agree to the divorce?  Usually, it’s not that your spouse won’t agree to the divorce, but rather they won’t agree to the custody arrangement, child support, your alimony request, or how to divide up the property. Obtaining a divorce…

One of my biggest pet-peeves is when another lawyer tells me that Collaborative Divorce won’t work. Don’t tell that to Cat J. Zavis.  Cat presented a seminar that I attended this past week on how Non-Violent Communication can help resolve Family Law Cases, including Collaborative Divorces. The seminar was organized by Mark Springfield, a fellow…

Whenever I sit down with someone that has a legal problem, I have to determine whether that client is a good fit for my law practice, and also whether I would be the best lawyer for them.  For some lawyers, this decision is easy – if the client is willing to write a check, they…

I’m just trying to picture the look on my wife’s face if she found out that I went an purchased divorce insurance… it wouldn’t be good, that’s for sure.  But behold, there is now such a thing – insurance that gives you a payout if your marriage fails.  Ironically enough, the product was dreamed up…

Every state is different when it comes to financial disclosures that must be made in your divorce case.  In North Carolina, the disclosures that are required depend in large part on what type of relief is being requested.  Where Child Support is at issue, one set of documents is required, where spousal support is at…

Many people still don’t understand exactly how collaborative divorce works – here is a brief rundown of the process. Both parties start by selecting a collaborative lawyer to assist them in their case.  This is probably the most important step, and one that many people fail to get past.  The key here is that both…

I came across a great article today that illustrates just why collaborative divorce can be such a great thing for the children of divorce. The article profiles a family from Rochester, New York that is going through a collaborative divorce with children – successfully. On anther note – I was forced to go to court…

I came across a podcast today by a divorce lawyer in Boston, Massachusetts who discussed the “cost” of getting divorced.  Here are some of the questions he was asked, with my answers. You hear in the news about couples staying together simply because the cost of divorce is too high. What makes getting a divorce…

I just finished watching another heart-breaking loss by my favorite professional football team – but what has me torn up more than that was how one of the announcers was telling the story of one of the players and what a great person he was be cause he just finished a two year custody battle…

I’ve written on the topic of divorce mediation several times, and I’m writing again today because I feel that this is a topic that deserves a great deal of attention, especially here in Wake County, North Carolina.  I strongly believe that divorcing couples should be able to dictate the terms of their separation, and the…

I got a great question today in my Ask a Lawyer Section.  The question was this – “In North Carolina is a spouse entitled to half her husband’s pension? If so, when does she get it and is it considered income when considering Alimony and Child Support?” Here is a quick synopsis of this difficult…

One of the scariest parts of getting divorced is the legal limbo that you go through while waiting for matters of Child Custody to get sorted out.  Whether you live in Cary or Raleigh, if you choose to get this sorted out in the courts, you will be in front of one of the family…

If you are a parent and facing a divorce in Raleigh, North Carolina, one of the main issues that you are going to have to come to terms with is how to co-parent your child with your soon-to-be ex-spouse.  One of the nice things about Wake County, and Raleigh in particular, is that there are…

As we come upon the end of summer and the Labor Day weekend, it is important to make sure that you stay calm and collected during the weekend’s festivities.  Whether you are just thinking about the idea of separating from your spouse, your divorce is in its final stages, or you are somewhere in between…

I recently came across an article entitled “Seven Tips to Help You Get Through a Divorce“, written by Marvin Webster.  Although Mr. Webster does not appear to be a family law attorney, his first bit of advice is pretty dead on – to hire and listen to your divorce lawyer. Hiring a divorce lawyer is…

A Texas Court of Appeals has ruled that District Court Judge Tena Callahan had no jurisdiction to divorce  a gay couple that was legally married in Massachusetts in 2006. I will put aside the legal argument that this is a clear violation of the equal protection clause for a second, and just reflect on the…

Ok – so you’ve made the smart decision to proceed with a collaborative divorce.  You’ve talked to your attorney, your spouse is on board as is their attorney, and you’ve gathered all the documents you need for that first 4-way meeting.  Now what? You may be feeling a little nervous, anxious, and perhaps a bit…

In discussing the benefits of Collaborative Divorce, we often talk about how it will help save your relationship with your spouse, cause you less stress and anxiety, be less harmful to the kids, and usually costs less than “old school” litigation. One of the real world examples of this is the case of a family…

It seems that the idea of “virtual visitation” (i.e. using video-conferencing services such as skype, ichat, etc.) has become all the rage in recent months, especially after a court in New York ordered three skype visits per week between a father and his children that were being moved to Florida.  Baker v. Baker (New York…

I just started another Collaborative Divorce Case yesterday (meaning that we had the first four-way meeting with another attorney and her client).  It was another shining example of why Collaborative Divorce is such a great thing for clients that are willing to work with one another to resolve their case with less stress and pain…

The more people/clients I talk to, the more frustrated I become at the heart-wrenching stories of individuals who have been exposed to the “traditional” methods of divorce.  By traditional, I mean divorcing couples who seek out attorneys that will “fight for their rights” to make sure they get the best deal in the divorce, even…

I’ve had several cases settle recently that involved kids, and many more that I am working on right now.  Because spouses are required to separate for one year before obtaining a divorce in North Carolina, the reality of the situation dictates that many spouses are required to deal with the children’s issues almost right away. …

So you’ve decided to separate from your spouse, but you’re not sure how you can afford to pay for two households on the money that you and your spouse currently make.  Here are some ideas for how to be more frugal, but still live comfortably…  (Thanks to the Maine Divorce Law Blog for giving me…

Yesterday morning I attended a “calendar call” in a domestic relations courtroom in Wake County.  This is a scheduled court appearance for every attorney and litigant that has a hearing or trial scheduled in front of that particular judge for the entire week.  It is an opportunity for the judge to call each case and…

Gov. David Paterson has signed into law a bill allowing for “no-fault” divorce in New York State.  New York was the last state in the union to allow for such a divorce.  Under the new law, as long as one couple claims that the marriage has been “irretrievably broken” for at least 6 months, the…

I didn’t realize until I had moved to North Carolina and reopened my family law practice here just how many meanings there are to the word mediation.  Lets start with a basic definition – a mediation is a form of non-binding dispute resolution where the parties meet with a neutral mediator to help them resolve…

Ok, so I just finished up a week and a half of posts on how to prepare for divorce.  Today, I’d like to take a lighter approach and share a feel-good story about a Momma Cat that adopted a baby squirrel. Check out the full story on CNN here.  My wife and I are vegetarians…

This is the last in a series of blog posts I have written during the past several weeks on how to prepare for divorce and separation.  Today’s tip focuses on the practical – be on your best behavior while going through the middle of a divorce.  Whether you are considering a collaborative divorce, or a…

This is the second to last in a series of tips for individuals who are considering separating from their spouse, and ultimately, divorcing them.  Many of the steps that I have provided in this series are geared toward preparing you for litigating your case, but I need to stress that I believe strongly in keeping…

Today’s divorce tip involves a commonly asked question, especially in North Carolina – Who moves?  I encourage all of my clients to at least consider the possibility of a collaborative divorce, and if you go that route, this is one of the many issues that can get worked out during the “four-way” meetings that are…

One of the biggest mistakes I see divorcing couples make is piling on additional debt after they separate, thinking that their spouse is responsible for one-half of this new debt.  This couldn’t be farther from the truth.  In North Carolina, the courts will look at the amount of debt you, as a couple, have incurred…

From time to time I meet with other Collaborative Divorce Attorneys that I recommend.  Why do I recommend my competition you might ask?  Because for starters – what goes around comes around.  Second, collaborative divorce is a new and emerging practice area, and frankly, there aren’t that many of us out there.  In order for…

This is the ninth in a series of tips about what you should do to prepare for a divorce or separation.  I believe strongly in the collaborative divorce process, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t prepare for the worst.  I was a boy scout, and our motto was “be prepared”.  If you are considering…

This is Tip #8 of a series of articles on how to prepare yourself for divorce.  Today’s tip assumes that you already have been able to gather all of the financial statements for your marital accounts, and at least make copies of those statements.  Now, your job is to determine what to do with all…

Regardless of whether you choose to conduce a Collaborative Divorce or go the route of the courts, I would encourage anyone pursuing a separation or divorce to make sure they have some credit in their name.  I’ve had numerous clients come to see me over the years that don’t have access to credit cards, and…

Here is a great video, prepared by Neil Denny, that describes the Collaborative Divorce Process in a clear and articulate way.

This is the sixth in a series of tips I am publishing to help people who are considering separating from their spouse or divorce.  While I believe strongly in the collaborative divorce process, there are times where you must take steps to protect yourself.  This series is meant to help you protect your legal rights…

Whether you are considering a Collaborative Divorce (which I recommend) or an “old school” divorce, which only really benefits the lawyers involved, I would strongly suggest that you start to develop your budget.  One of the great things about the Collaborative process is that this budget will be “forward looking” as opposed to “backward looking”. …