Here is a quick summary of the best legal advice I give for someone thinking about divorce. I meet with a lot of people to talk about ways to end their marriage. A lot of people will subsequently hire me to help them end their marriage. Many of these people have lots of questions, such as: who should move out, how much support will I get/have to pay, I want to keep the house – how can I do that, etc. I often ask the people who meet with me how much they want to get divorced on a scale of 1-10, 1 being that they just want some information, and 10 being that they wish they were divorced “yesterday”. Most people are in the 8-10 range, which indicates to me that by the time people have made the decision to contact a divorce lawyer, they already know that their marriage is over. But is it?
The best legal advice I can give you if you are thinking about a divorce is this – don’t get divorced. Not yet anyway. Take some time to think this over and decide what, if anything, can be done to save your marriage. Divorce is messy, expensive and stressful. If you can avoid it, I recommend that you do.
This probably sounds crazy coming from a divorce lawyer. It probably is.
Here is a list of things that you can do to try to work on your marriage:
- Attempt marriage counseling;
- Look into “imago” therapy;
- Talk to your spouse about your concerns;
- Plan a date night;
- Go to your own therapist and ask him or her for some tools you can use to work on the marriage;
- Get out an old photo album from when you were first married – go through it with your spouse.
It’s very possible that none of these things will work in your situation. That’s ok. Your marriage might be beyond saving. But you can at least try.
And if attempting to save your marriage doesn’t work? I’ll be here waiting.
Questions or comments? Thinking about divorce in North Carolina and need some assistance? Feel free to call our office at (919) 460-5422 or fill out our online contact form.