In everything that I read it talks about the spouse actually touching the other person… If deviate sexual acts also included non-physical things like talking about sex or sending pictures…

No - to prove marital misconduct in North Carolina, you must show opportunity and inclination. Text messages, sending pictures, and talking over the phone are not enough to prove marital misconduct. In addition, whether or not there was marital misconduct (i.e. an affair), is irrelevant unless alimony may be an issue or custody of the children is contested.